Thoughts From The Gameroom

The ramblings of a Euro-gamer from South Dakota

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

AWOL or POW?

Posted by sodaklady on March 28, 2014

Remember when I wrote about keeping Memoir ’44 set up on our class-top table, ready for play whenever we were? Our two cats were disconcerted with the glass top so never even thought about bothering it.  Fast forward to the present day and a new kitty, R.J., who is just turning 2 and full of pent-up, where-the-hell-is-spring energy. She is NOT afraid of falling through a piece of glass and has discovered how much fun army men are.

A game of Memoir plus the Air Pack expansion was set up, ready for the Utah Beach battle. It had been patiently waiting for several days when I stepped on something barefooted and, on retrieving said something, found it to be an artillery piece! And it had been slightly chewed. Damn. When I set it back in its bunker, I also saw I had a man missing. O.k., where is he? Did he run away, the coward? Or had he been taken prisoner when he stepped out to take care of some personal hygiene?

Hoping it was just a fluke and she was bored with them, I put the artillery piece back.

I know you’re thinking what a dumb thing to do, and you would be right. The next day, just before bed, I noticed the board again was missing artillery–this time, both of them. When I hunted around the general vicinity, I found nothing but two tiny wheels lying on the carpet like limbs torn from a scarecrow. I set them on the board like an homage to their fallen body and went to bed. Only after I was in bed did I consider the one piece on the board that was more valuable than one man or one artillery piece…the Storch plane! No, she was having too much fun with the man and machine to see the plane hanging over the airfield in its stand. It will be alright.

Again, I was proven to be a complete imbecile. It was indeed gone from the battlefield when I checked the next morning. Right!! We need to find these missing pieces, especially the one-and-only-one Storch. Flashlight and yardstick in hand, I started with the one inch gap under the couch. This is a favorite toy accessory, in case you don’t know cats. Push something into hiding, then fish it out again; repeat until you push it too far to reach then find something else to play with. Ah, there’s the missing man and an artillery piece. But I couldn’t see too far and, of course, I had help…R. J. wanting to see which of her toys I had found. Hmm, a flash drive. Wonder how long that has been under here?

Time to move on to phase 2 because I WILL find the Storch! Now this couch is a sleeper sofa, and nearly as heavy as a real artillery piece so I wasn’t going to try moving it. That means it’s come to opening this beast which hasn’t been opened in probably 20 years. Dust bunnies call the area hiding just under the couch back Nirvana.

After vacuuming and fighting to get the bed unfolded, I was ecstatic to find the second artillery piece and the Storch, still in its stand! I felt like throwing a ticker tape parade but I’d already done enough cleaning up on this matter. So I just put the plane in the box for safe-keeping, and laid a light piece of sheeting over the rest of the board, held down with some weightier nicknacks. And crossed my fingers.

Only one thing remained to do. Get the cat out from under the couch so I could put the bed back.

Utah Beach scenario restored but notice the two poor little wheels lying next to the artillery pieces. Sad.

Utah Beach scenario restored but notice the two poor little wheels lying next to the artillery pieces. Sad.

 

 

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Posted in board games, Humor | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

You Might Be A Gamer…

Posted by sodaklady on January 3, 2014

If you look at this Christmas candy tin

Candy tin

and see possibilities for game component storage, you might be a gamer.

Wishing everyone a New Year full of happiness, lucky dice rolls and many new games.

Posted in Humor | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

The Annual Weisbeck Walnut Festival

Posted by sodaklady on October 22, 2008

 

This is the email my husband wrote to friends and family which I wanted to share. Be warned: you are entering a silly place.

Fall has arrived and the trees are turning colors so I am sure that all of you are thinking the same thing. Time for the annual Walnut Festival.

A review of the rules and history for the festival. The festival came to be when the Black Walnut trees in the yard grew large enough to present a problem. When the leaves would fall, some of the walnuts would still remain in the tree. Anyone who had seen these nuts would realize that when they fell out of the tree they would register on the Richter scale.  A method had to be devised to remove the nuts safely and to give us an excuse to have a good time. The Festival came to life. Assorted objects are thrown into the tree and the number of nuts knocked down is scored. One nut – one point, two nuts- two points with a two multiplier = 4 points. You get the picture.  Teams are formed and everyone gets a chance to play. Objects need to be thrown by hand with no mechanical assistance. Points are taken away if someone is hit with a nut. The amount of points subtracted is directly related to the amount of damage inflicted on the individual. The Judges determine the points removed. Bribery is accepted and expected.

Our son, Chris, put together a team of work mates from the Harley-Davidson shop. They were very excited about their chances until I reminded them that the objects cannot be thrown with mechanical assistance. The V-Twin catapult was disqualified. I wondered what he was going to do with that extra V-Twin motor?  So with tears in there eyes they set off to find something else to throw. I hope the cows are hiding. With the team from H-D out of the picture, Chris turned to his Billiards team and a new group was formed.

Cori, our daughter, got together with her boyfriend and put together a group that looked promising. The group of Wizards, Bards and Trolls were very excited until they learned that the games were planned for Sunday and they would all be off in some dungeon fighting dragons.  The back-up group was formed from the call center where she works. They all seemed very happy to be outside and not locked in cubicles. They spent a bit of time walking around the house looking for the designated smoking area–it is hard to break the habit. They came armed with cushies, broken mouses (mice?), and staplers.

Mary’s team was the most experienced. They were gamers, used to working together and achieving a common goal. The problem came when they started to review the rules. If you have ever been around gamers when they review the rules you would know that it can go one of two ways. The rules can be arrived upon easily, or they can be knick-picked and bantered about and pulled apart and then argued and objected to. Guess what happened?  They may still be auguring about it.

With the importance of the event we needed to spruce up the yard for the Festival. In keeping things local a couple from the neighborhood were engaged. In staying with the fall theme, they began there decorations. Domestic flora and fauna were used. Here problems started. They decorated the wrong back yard, our neighbors’.  There are apples and nuts on top of the fence, apples in the bird feeder and the decorative nest. Nuts had been packed along the fence below the pine trees. Have you noticed the continued use of the word nuts? Yes, ladies and gentleman, I should not have hired Mr and Mrs S. Quirrel as the decorators. When they were done the need for the Festival was negated. So once again, there was no Walnut Festival. We had to just settle for refreshments and admiring the wonderful decorations.

Play safe and enjoy the season

Rick


Posted in Humor, Non-gaming | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

Zombies Took Over My Home This Weekend

Posted by sodaklady on April 28, 2008

Thursday, the 24th of April, 2008 will live on in my memories as the day the FedEx man brought the zombies to my home. They came in a box labeled Last Night On Earth and attacked me first when I played a solo game. I managed to fend them off and put them back in the box but the next evening, they attacked again.

Cori and Richard were attacked on Friday when I innocently opened the box to show them what it contained. Their persistence is legendary and this occasion was no different as they reached for our fun-loving brains, enticing us with their shambling ways. Together we finally got them back in their box again. But even then, they called to us, begging to be let out to continue their search for more brains.

On Saturday, we could take it no more and once again opened the box, knowing full well what was in store for us but unable to resist any longer. This time, Cori, enthralled by the zombies, invited two of her friends to come and see our box of zombies. Oh, the horror! For hours we fought to get them back in the box, nearly succeeding once but we let our guard down and found them spread all over the table yet again. It was too late for these poor young people to escape the zombies’ clutches. Even after we had triumphed over their grizzly, decaying bodies, they continued to eat away at the brains of all of us.

Sunday brought Cori’s friends back to our zombie-infested home to open the box one more time. Why? Why?!? They have so much life yet to live; so many other, safer, things to draw them and yet the zombies would not let them be. Five people, gathered together around a table to join in a timeless battle, and knowing that they had already lost to the relentlessness of the zombies in our midst.

Be warned, my friends, if the FedEx or UPS man brings a box of zombies to your door, do not open it unless you, too, wish to join our band of walking dead.

Posted in Humor, New Game | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

I Can’t Read But I Ordered The Game Anyway

Posted by sodaklady on February 7, 2008

When I checked my email this a.m., there was the newsletter from GMT games (I get them since I bought C&C: Ancients and the expansions).  Although I’m not that much of a war gamer, there wasn’t much else interesting to read in my mail so I glanced through it and a game caught my eye:  Pacific Tycoon.  Hmm, I thought, sounds Euro-ish, like making money on the various islands in the Pacific.  A little different from the usual GMT war game fare but since they did a game about lemmings, who knows?

 So I clicked on the link to read about the game and then realized it was Pacific TyPHOON.   After mentally smacking myself in the head, I read about it and it turns out to be a neat-sounding card game with a very thin battle-in-the-Pacific theme.  It’s kind of a trick-taking game (plays 3-7, with 4-6 being optimum) where you never know who’ll be on your side in the “battle” since you can change sides each round, negotiate for the spoils, and do a lot of BS table talking.  It sounds like fun so for the pre-order price of $28, I went for it.

 Oh, and for the record, I did check BGG first, of course.  This is a remake of Atlantic Storm which got some pretty good comments.  And I see that my BGGF, cornjob, has preordered it and who wants to argue with a sleestak?

Posted in Humor, New Game | Tagged: | Leave a Comment »

Laying In The Field — Part 2

Posted by sodaklady on July 27, 2007

red-meeple.jpgToday started like any other day, guarding our field. I could see Yolanda’s father in the next field across the road and, trying to make a good impression, I raised my arm to him in greeting. It was very quiet, as usual, until I noticed a stranger leaving the city. He was dressed all in green but didn’t look like anyone I knew.

As this stranger crossed the meadow, whistling a catchy tune—the kind that gets into your grain and stays there—a couple of very large birds swooped at him from out of nowhere. He pulled out a long, shiny sword and quickly killed them both, finishing them off with an impressive flourish.

I admit, this almost scared the sawdust out of me. I’ve never seen anything like this before and I didn’t know whether to run for the city or hide. There wasn’t time to run so I just kept lying there, watching this stranger as he wandered around the meadow. Once he stopped to pick up a bug, looked at it, and let it go. Then he came to a long patch of grass and he took his sword and, with a sweeping gesture, cut it all down. There, in the cut area, was a green jewel! Splinters! I didn’t know there was jewels hiding in our field.

He finally wandered close enough to me that I thought I should stand up and introduce myself. The stranger, whose name is Link, said he was on a quest to save the people of Hyrule from the Twilight, a spreading darkness full of evil creatures. He told me about some of his adventures so far and it gave me shivers, like someone was rubbing my skin with sandpaper.

“That sounds very dangerous,” I said.

“It IS dangerous,” he told me, “but I’m very good with a sword and I’ve made friends everywhere I go.”

“I bet some of those friends are girls,” I said, thinking this would be a good way to impress Yolanda.

“Oh, yeah. The girls fall all over a heroic adventurer. It’s a perk.”

“So how do you become a heroic adventurer?”

“First,” he said, “you need a really cool outfit.” I thought I could manage that with the help of my mom.

“Then you need a theme song. Something catchy that sounds like you’re off on a heroic quest.” Well, I make up lots of songs while I’m lying around the field so I guess I could think of something that sounds heroic and adventuresome.

“Finally, you need to learn to use a sword so you can kill evil creatures.”

“Wait! My people don’t kill,” I told him honestly. “We don’t like direct confrontation. When we have a dispute, we just outnumber the other guy to win. I don’t think I could kill anything. Is there something else I could do instead?”

“No. You definitely have to kill the bad guys if you’re a heroic adventurer.”

“Oh.”

I was totally bummed. I guess I’ll have to come up with some other idea to impress Yolanda. I’ve heard that humor is a good way to win a woman’s heart. Maybe I’ll tell Yolanda all the funny answers I’ve thought of for “Why did the meeple cross the road?”

Posted in Humor | 1 Comment »

Laying In The Field — A Meeple Blog

Posted by sodaklady on July 27, 2007

Red MeepleMy name is Reginald Eugene Daniel but my friends and family call me Red. My father’s a farmer and I help him a lot by keeping watch over his fields. Not much happens around here usually but it’s a good place to watch what’s going on in the city and surrounding area.

Last week someone finally bought the farm near us. His name is Beauregard Lionel Ulysses Eddrick (we just call him Blue) and he wanted us to share our field with him. Pop got so mad he turned maroon! It didn’t take long for him to call our cousin, Richard Elliot David, to come and help me guard the field. We managed to keep that old Blue from stealing our farm and being able to sell to the surrounding cities. It wasn’t all hard work, though. We went down to the river and made mud balls to throw at Blue. Now *that* was fun!

My mom’s second cousin once removed on her father’s side is one of the city guards. He says the city is growing so big that they might have to increase the number of guards. Boy, I’d sure like to do that. They get to wear a cool looking uniform and the girls just fall all over them. But Pop says he needs me here on the farm.

When I feel down about that or just feel like talking, I sometimes go and visit the priest in the nearby monastery, Father Gregory. He’s a real nice guy and very helpful even if he is old and his skin is kinda green. He’s very easy to talk to and I even told him about this girl I met who tends the pigs in the field across the road. Her name is Yolanda Eileen something. Her shape is wonderfully flat and she has blonde hair. She’s beautiful.

The most interesting thing that’s ever happened to me was the day I met a thief on the road. We talked for a long time about what it’s like to be a thief and I felt so sorry for him that I shared my lunch with him. I thought he could probably use it since he didn’t look too healthy. His skin was kinda gray looking and there was a big bump on his head. He said thank you very politely and then rode off towards the city. I think about him once in a while and hope he’s doing o.k.

Well, I better get to bed so I’ll be ready for another day of guarding the field. I hope I dream about Yolanda. I wonder what our kids would look like.

Posted in Humor | Leave a Comment »

Will Satire Become Reality?

Posted by sodaklady on May 6, 2007

About a year ago (July 2006), I wrote a satiric article for Gone Gaming showing how the X-Play team of Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb would review a board game–The Settlers of Catan, to be precise.   Now that Catan is out on the X-Box Live Arcade, it could actually happen.  Is it prescience or just an example of truth is stranger than fiction?

Personally, I think this is a silly, if not totally stupid, choice of games to put on a video game console.  The majority of hard-core video gamers want to slash and shoot in first-person shooters or build up their characters in an rpg; I just can’t see them sitting down for a slow-paced, thinking-required type of game.  Time will tell, I guess, and in the end, maybe we board game geeks will be pleasantly surprised.

Anyway, it gives me an excuse to republish the original article. 🙂

X-Play Reviews a Board Game

 (For those who don’t know about X-Play on G4 TV, they review video games and most likely do not spend their money on card board unless it temporarily encloses something electronic.)

 –Announcer’s voice:  And now, 2 people who think macaroni and cheese is finger food, here’s Adam Sizzler and Morgan Wedd.

 A:  Hello and welcome to X-Play.  Today we’re doing something a little different.  The powers that be…

 M:  That’s the high muckety-mucks who pay us and have threatened to trade us to a local morning show in South Dakota if we don’t do this review…

 A:  Yeah, them.  They’ve  asked us to review a board game. Now for you youngsters with calluses on your thumbs, and eyes that fear the light of day, a board game is an ancient form of entertainment where people gather around a table full of cardboard, paper, and wood, metal or plastic in direct competition with each other to reconfigure these items in some way which results in earning points or money.  My guess is that you should have at least one these board game things around in case the electricity goes out and you forgot to buy extra batteries for your handheld game.

 M:  Right, batteries.  I knew there was something I was supposed to buy before I go home tonight.

 A:  The game we’re reviewing is Settlers of Catan and since it’s a multi-player game, we tied a couple of interns to chairs and sat down to try it out.  When you open the box you find some wooden pieces that look like sticks and houses, a deck of cards,  a pair of dice and a bunch of cardboard hexagons in several colors which represent different types of land that produce different commodities.  There’s also a rule book which you have to READ!  That’s right, there’s no in-game tutorial to show you how it works.

 M:  That’s when it’s nice to have interns to force to do your work while you go out to lunch in a nice restaurant.

 A:  You’d think with all our technology, they could include a DVD showing how to play the game so people aren’t forced to wade through pages of rules.  Anyway, when we came back from lunch, the interns had set up the game and figured out how to play.

 The idea of the game is that you’re a poor but hard-working settler trying to expand your colony by gathering the necessary commodities to build settlements and roads or to upgrade your settlements to cities with electricity for TVs, computers and game consoles.  You can also buy cards with special abilities.

 So on your turn you roll the dice, collect commodities if you’ve got more luck that a bad guy in a Clint Eastwood movie, and then you can trade your commodities with other players, the native inhabitants (who are shrewd negotiators) or take it to a port to trade overseas.  Finally, you can build if you’ve managed to accumulate the necessary goods.

 M:   You don’t get to shoot anything or blow anything up, which I think is a big drawback.  I thought it would be more fun if you could bomb someone’s road when you roll a 7!

 A:  That would be fun, Morgan, but a roll of 7 sends the Robber to steal commodities like a Robin Hood who has a disturbing attraction to sheep.  Turns keep going around the table until someone gets 10 points.  Points are earned for each settlement and city, the longest road and the most knights (which are cards you can buy).  It wasn’t too bad, actually, if you like just sitting around using your brain and talking to people.  Morgan, did you know interns have names?!

 M:  Someone told me that once but I didn’t believe them.

 A:  To sum up, I wouldn’t mind having this around for when my parents come to visit but for myself, I’d rather play Ratchet and Clank Go On Vacation.  I give it 3 sheered sheep out of 5.

 Does anyone know where I can buy a portable generator?

Posted in Game-related Thoughts, Humor, Internet | 5 Comments »

Board Games on TV

Posted by sodaklady on April 12, 2007

On CSI (the original) tonight, one of the lab techs, Hodges, was having a lucky day.  He found a dollar on the sidewalk, a pretty girl gave him the eye, he used the dollar in a vending machine to get some chips and got two extra bags, he got a hit on a search with a 1 in 6 billion chance of a match and to top it off, he won The Three’s Company Board Game in an auction!

Posted in Game-related Thoughts, Humor | 2 Comments »

My Game Collection

Posted by sodaklady on April 1, 2007

video-games.jpg

Gotcha! I hope all of my board game friends have a fun April Fool’s Day.

Posted in Humor | 5 Comments »