This is the email my husband wrote to friends and family which I wanted to share. Be warned: you are entering a silly place.
Fall has arrived and the trees are turning colors so I am sure that all of you are thinking the same thing. Time for the annual Walnut Festival.
A review of the rules and history for the festival. The festival came to be when the Black Walnut trees in the yard grew large enough to present a problem. When the leaves would fall, some of the walnuts would still remain in the tree. Anyone who had seen these nuts would realize that when they fell out of the tree they would register on the Richter scale. A method had to be devised to remove the nuts safely and to give us an excuse to have a good time. The Festival came to life. Assorted objects are thrown into the tree and the number of nuts knocked down is scored. One nut – one point, two nuts- two points with a two multiplier = 4 points. You get the picture. Teams are formed and everyone gets a chance to play. Objects need to be thrown by hand with no mechanical assistance. Points are taken away if someone is hit with a nut. The amount of points subtracted is directly related to the amount of damage inflicted on the individual. The Judges determine the points removed. Bribery is accepted and expected.
Our son, Chris, put together a team of work mates from the Harley-Davidson shop. They were very excited about their chances until I reminded them that the objects cannot be thrown with mechanical assistance. The V-Twin catapult was disqualified. I wondered what he was going to do with that extra V-Twin motor? So with tears in there eyes they set off to find something else to throw. I hope the cows are hiding. With the team from H-D out of the picture, Chris turned to his Billiards team and a new group was formed.
Cori, our daughter, got together with her boyfriend and put together a group that looked promising. The group of Wizards, Bards and Trolls were very excited until they learned that the games were planned for Sunday and they would all be off in some dungeon fighting dragons. The back-up group was formed from the call center where she works. They all seemed very happy to be outside and not locked in cubicles. They spent a bit of time walking around the house looking for the designated smoking area–it is hard to break the habit. They came armed with cushies, broken mouses (mice?), and staplers.
Mary’s team was the most experienced. They were gamers, used to working together and achieving a common goal. The problem came when they started to review the rules. If you have ever been around gamers when they review the rules you would know that it can go one of two ways. The rules can be arrived upon easily, or they can be knick-picked and bantered about and pulled apart and then argued and objected to. Guess what happened? They may still be auguring about it.
With the importance of the event we needed to spruce up the yard for the Festival. In keeping things local a couple from the neighborhood were engaged. In staying with the fall theme, they began there decorations. Domestic flora and fauna were used. Here problems started. They decorated the wrong back yard, our neighbors’. There are apples and nuts on top of the fence, apples in the bird feeder and the decorative nest. Nuts had been packed along the fence below the pine trees. Have you noticed the continued use of the word nuts? Yes, ladies and gentleman, I should not have hired Mr and Mrs S. Quirrel as the decorators. When they were done the need for the Festival was negated. So once again, there was no Walnut Festival. We had to just settle for refreshments and admiring the wonderful decorations.
Play safe and enjoy the season